While flipping through eye makeup designs for New Year’s Eve in various fashion magazines this morning, I kept noticing articles about weight loss, how to play down your chubby thighs, and flirty moves that men find sexy.
It’s a rough business, being a woman. All about sexiness, isn’t it?
We really should be in the power position. Endlessly hearing about the power of testosterone, the overwhelming sexual needs of the male animal and how ours pale in comparison, would make it seem that we have the supply and men have the demand, right?
Women are supposed to be exceedingly selective about mating partners in comparison to men, who we are told are supposedly desperate to bed anyone or anything.
Well, if that’s the case, then why are women pouring hot wax on their genitals to rip out any trace of hair, developing eating disorders and buying implants to cater to a fantasy ideal, and otherwise spending an enormous amount of time, money and energy to present the most attractive versions of ourselves that we can?
Men, by contrast, seem to own three pairs of shoes and select outfits by sniffing T-shirt armpits. On a good day, they might slap on some aftershave and hair gel.
This doesn’t seem to be the case in the animal world, where male peacocks strut their glorious colorful tails in a mad competition to curry favor with relatively drab peahens. Lions grow fantastic manes while male sparrows build elaborate nests and male gazelles brain themselves butting heads, all in a grand attempt to advertise their sexiness to a female audience.
Yet, we women are getting eyelid extensions, keeping up constantly manicured finger- and toenails, spraying fake tans over every inch of our bodies, spending countless hours coordinating our outfits while dieting ourselves into oblivion, hoping to meet increasingly airbrushed standards of female beauty.
Once, we were allowed to have body hair, but now it’s considered gross and unhygienic. I’ve heard men say that female body hair frightens them.
Now, before anyone gets their panties in a wad, I’m not saying it’s wrong to shave, or wear makeup, or stay in shape (I do all of these things myself). I also think it’s fine to not do them.
But it seems peculiar that women work so much harder to make themselves attractive, when we supposedly hold all the chips.
On another note, I’d like to take a moment to give props to my guy readers. I’ve delved into quite a few controversial topics on my site so far, managing to piss off the vegans, animal-lovers, people suffering from eating disorders, and the obsessive-compulsives.
But despite all of my mockery about male penis obsessions and bizarre sexual proclivities, men have so far taken my posts in good humor.
Maybe they tend to be less sensitive, or maybe they’re just happy I’m mentioning penises.