I normally try to be all edgy and controversial in this blog. But tonight, I’m going to be boring. I want to talk about something mundane in hopes someone else has a problem with it.
I’ve always liked Oprah Winfrey, never understanding why people hate her. No one’s dug up any real dirt on the women, despite her super-fame, and she built an enormous empire after being born with a rotten deck. How can you not respect that?
But now, I finally have a grievance against Oprah Winfrey too: she took over the Weight Watchers diet plan and completely jacked it up.
You see, I’ve been doing WW for years, off and on. Most people are surprised upon learning this, because I’m usually pretty thin.
That’s because I work at it. People don’t realize I come from a family racked with morbid obesity problems and all the diabetes, knee problems, and assorted health issues that it brings. I had a DNA test a couple years ago that determined I’m up against a nearly 80 % chance of obesity myself.
It wasn’t a huge shock for me, since I’ve been fighting that cat back into its bag since junior high school. When I slack, the scale starts exploding. I’ve been on every kind of diet and constantly exercise.
Atkins, South Beach, vegetarian, low calorie… You name it, I’ve done it. Twice.
And out of ALL THOSE DIETS, Weight Watchers worked the best. It’s my go-to whenever I’m really serious.
Why? Well, I’ve thought about this and believe it’s because WW is realistic. Never eating carbs is pretty tough in the long run. Never having birthday cake or being part of the office potluck, really?
WW accounted for this. You could eat the things you love, within reason, just as long as your points balanced out.
So, after using it to drop 70 pounds post-pregnancy, I became a lifetime member. I was doing great for a few years until the scales started tipping ten pounds above goal.
I realize ten pounds aren’t a crisis, but I either get them off now or face thirty down the line. So I re-upped.
And what do you know… they changed the program. Oprah is in charge and everything is SmartPoints now. They charge you double for anything with simple carbs or saturated fat in it. It’s meant to motivate us to eat healthier but frankly, I’m super-pissed.
You see, I don’t get a lot of points to begin with. I’m at the minimum of twenty-six. If I want to, say, start my morning with a morsel of biscotti, I now forfeit SIX points instead of two.
And it goes on. A cup of pasta KILLS me. A single tablespoon of butter costs SIX POINTS. A beer is five. Unless I eat ten pounds of fruit, I’m gonna be starving.
THIS IS MADNESS, PEOPLE!
This defies the whole concept of moderation, the elegant beauty of battling pounds with reasonable portion control. Nutritional science keeps evolving–some recent studies find that pasta doesn’t lead to greater weight gain, for example, and maybe saturated fats aren’t as bad as we thought.
120 calories shouldn’t lead to six points. I’ve done the math, and anyone unwilling to live with endless egg-white omelettes and broiled chicken breasts salads is screwed.
Forget even the thinnest smear of butter, you degenerate. If you’re not living on fat-free dressing, you don’t deserve to eat.
This is Puritanical madness gone unchecked. It’s actually unhealthy, because eating “normal” food can mean 800 calories a day or less.
This is eating disorder territory, folks. WW used to work because it was a system people could realistically follow. Now it’s punitive.
You wanted a sandwich with TWO WHOPPING SLICES OF BREAD? What were you thinking, pig!? Go STARVE for the day while you THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID!
I remember when calorie-counting used to seem miserable. Now it’s looking practically indulgent, since at least I could eat food I actually like.
Thanks, Oprah. You brought your do-gooder ways into Weight Watchers, and sent us hurling into free calorie-counting apps.
And I’m not buying it. If I could lose 70 pounds eating biscotti and pasta a few years ago, I’m sure I can do it again.